am pleased to report the catch in my throat is just the sting of 151 over and over again

it eyes her like his ego tries itself on for praise splays its fingers and gazes between as if the gap is instrumental in calculating the angle of approach.

stay awake magpie
count every glister
the shining that kissed her plumes like an avalanche of accidentals coughing monsoons through the morning

in the door is a house that buttons its curtains with frog tails and skylarks that part from the rafters. its color is scorching its temperature smooth it's tapping its shutters and waiting on you.

it shouldn't be easier to love a memory: echoes are for ducks to eat.

you will know her by the honey in her pores
whose fingertips are tongues and the quake of unchained titans
with all the promise of those unborn

but his rusted lips ruddy whatever they touch leave sediment like centuries of oceanic distrust

dr whatever's disappointed i quit the abilify but seriously being unable to pee is probably the most distressing physical side effect i've ever had the joy of being subjected to i'll take hallucinations any day or night or what gloats between can't believe the sun's vanished by five thirty already in the pit of winter despite mid-sixties weather i spend all light hours in a lab assembling medical equipment and shouting along to nineties songs and pretending i'm somewhere else wish my bank account'd catch up with arizona leanings but i suppose that's what the cracked fingers 'n ghost-karaoke's for,

she has an answer but cannot find whoever has her question.

polar lovers plow
forward like paired mules a fine
labor but fruitless

she's been trying to lead a tree to water oblivious to the profusion below.

there's a cancer by the service table splicing telomeres to magnify the rate of your succumbing.

not sleeping again thanks abilify for down-regulating my metabolism as well i wonder if women could smell it if wrestlers dull their edge in exchange for a few breaths of glory though attraction to exertion often renders such obstacles ineffectual streamers to prance through bruises one's trophies for playing chase emaciation and proudly saddling a homo-curious reputation

i most adore the pale moon that hangs below the windowsill as you commune with owls

i got a lotta pollen babe
you'd better beware
yeah i got a lotta pollen so
ladies beware
the whistlin of the west wind
if you ain't got the mind to bear

so i live in the proverbial parents' basement (an upgrade from the literal at least) & remain unemployed but i've got a heart sling 'n soar come down like sun showers skip over sour stones that cling to soles crowned with a ring of hours prone to echoing gospel's bones ringing in marrow nine hundred teeth crave spare four for the barrow a century of sorrow re-entry devours like a phage in the narrows a pathogen's furrow relents i divide and infect with a gleam of innocuous seeming intoxicants breeding spherical dreams the peal of receding fear as it streams between lobes we don't need in a place like this

scale says i weigh one-hundred and forty-five pounds. as a slight person, i am amazed. as a vain one, horrified--a twenty-five percent increase in body weight is…significant. more twitching & less beer, maybe.

oh hey so my dad and i broke into an airport just outside washington d.c. because we hadn't anticipated their having locked all the doors although it was five a.m. and a fairly small field it's just the wrath of mother is greater than our concern for signs that read attention federally regulated blah blah blah it's usually not too difficult getting through non-dead-bolted doors we had several hotel room keys to wedge in there but i've never had to get over a fence with razor wire before and let me tell you it is nerve-wracking i mean i may be flippant when it comes to future progeny but i was very seriously concerned and luckily nimble for it rather than paralyzed to be fair i was aided by a randomly placed metal box on the far side of the fence (thank you) made it out with only a slight tear at the seat of my pants and a nervous laugh as the door initially stuck from the 'surely-it-opens-from-that-side' side because getting over the other way meant a leap and rare prayer as my 6'1" fifty-five year old two-hundred-some pound partner-in-crime lacks a certain grace required to clear sharp obstacles the rally to restore sanity and/or fear was excellent though we were very near the back not having expected such a strong showing the metro was beleaguered by lib-rels and pinkos and queers and most frustratingly people who had no fucking clue how to navigate mass transit terminals felt kinda bad for people who showed up to the mall hoping to visit some of the museums 'n being instead mauled by a wall of reasonableness and/or insanity (mostly insanity from their perspective, i imagine) i asked a man dressed as skeletor wielding a he-man-cum-hitler sign if he'd make out with a terrifying pot-bellied spandex-wearing clown, for fear, skeletor laughed quietly and walked out of my life forever, i'll never be the same.

the ned.

lonely is

summering between mattress springs, the welcome suffocation of linens their embrace warmer than the atmosphere hovering below our bed frame where time dwells time tells us carpeting cannot dispel the clouds that hound our ankles those tales of imperfection and our kicking air as if we have a better method of strengthening our run through the ether mouth suffused with threnody eyes dripping glee and why shouldn't the rain be mobs of saints with our prayers trampled out by their raging?

i mean really like we'd know what to do with a life steady and simple we've known the intimations of concrete the timbre of brick in our bloodstream isn't something we get to quit it's a toothless siren song, we're poor swimmers, is all,

still can't shed these themes those words that aching for resonance my words won't hold though closer and closer i swear like saturday morning wine stains whose lips do not fit my own we'll be revelry sans memory into and out of the dawn,

so i prate

i. an orifice of chlorophyll
an orifice of ink
a saucer steeped in chamomile
to bind the eye of sleep

ii. it's just a smathering of capital a hammer-wrenching fractal prase n parsed to keep stochastic models larked along the shore she's got a sliver of your finest nestled near her pulse disguised by cataracts a rash of tides incisors bare abyssal air that abrogates your glutted lungs arraigns your every word and sands your palms with future plans she's drawn from your skin before

iii. talia wears a crescent moon imbued with simmering oil slicks, their plumes a perfume that abets levitation, leads to bloodied brows and a longing for lightness even as exhaust tosses the captivated blocks upon blocks from their daze. from there they can still hear talia conduct the city's orchestra: she has mastered the art of walking each shadow crossed each step each quiver of an eyelash hangs on talia's sway; drifts of freckles pepper the air with a decadence often reserved for men with a taste for unicorn flesh, for women of geosynchronous station. the whorls of her hair are the helices that beget breath, a symphony of beginnings that remains in the womb but for those brilliant few who illume us.

more to fear than fear

i. each second to aching the gravel washed throat there's pacing there's pacing and myriad crows with stutters and scraps peeled from yesterhour's hesitance scrabbling for minutes to catch your collapse in there's reason conditionals doubts insurrections that only hear messengers after they're strangled there's scouring arteries for hints of courageousness pummeling wind with lungs sick with advances that cannot escape a chest riddled with conscience that's dreaming of longing pinned to the mattress,

ii. apprehension riots like snow in your pores, the cleave of steel at the nape of resolve slumbering off its last facade between twitching fits, your flesh or your pride, leave forfeit leave trespass hang your remorse, leave rivulets arabesques levy your course with every iota that mottles your way forget here, the after, the marrow, the clay,

iii. we dream feeders night creepers slow fevers parade through abandons companioned with tramping malaise we burrow take furlough when furrows resist us flood mind fields with low-yield intentions our business divides men incites them and folds when their visions outpace the surfeit of our busy fingers,

iv. once upon a whatever there was a sound that nestled in the lunulae of a vagrant dawn, now every missing morning it grows a smoother tune, alabaster to outlast memories of a muse who swayed like heavenly reeds, held the sound's head like a lyre, plucked its psyche with dexterity that imbued the sound's untiring form with rhapsody, with rapture pure as promethean flame, an incense unrivaled, olympians clamored, boar ripe with entheogens hooves born of atropos the muse caught in their subsidence played to the bone while the sound with a governed voice swore never again,

vixen trot

i. 157,000 foxes on a vapor board reserved a paper trail amoxicillin never learned to curb a trillion bodies splitting like echinoderms without a genealogy to satisfy primogeniture

ii. i know the spirals inflections & viral reactions to sterilized lessons on how we should staple intentions tongues to gums wrenches to heads of curmudgeons their honest blood nothing a guilt ridden culture can't bear

iii. like: lamentations of jelly, a rusted carousel, the twelve haggard souls behind you, the crutch of an orphaned whale, a sneeze in the pit of your belly, a fan that siphons air, a pillow of steel, the jeer of success, a jester arrested with us,

iv. gimme a reason to start it, i'll claim the finishin sound, gimme some change & i'll count it, bare your neck and i'll drown, shower the stars with your mourning, bury the seas with your love, pin my heart next to your mirror if you're the one i'm dreamin of,

v. red locks and a curl in the vowels you release constellations of skin that reveal what i've needed without the remorse of actualizing a course recalcitrant needles devise as you sway their veins enchant arteries sleeping beside beaches swept from the valley of seasonal motion capsized declinations you've numbered like flies in the facets of sapphire towing the club of your knuckles indentured and fulminant how does one question the answer you radiate?

vi. with a spool of mendacity spinnerets whistling with gossamer skeletons the will to kiss mannequins as if old pygmalion quickens your lips with snowfall cacophony frenzy with hail with telegrams a fortnight of laying the radial lashes of the last vision you sent me one last imprecation to summon a bed we'll have burned in the morning.

.

i. as soon as i wake my throat screams for drink so i am not drinking, quench it instead with a flood of migraines and hallucinations torrential as they've ever been. don't have to climb mountains to freeze on their summits, taunt tigers to meet the inside of their stomachs. no singing will silence no run pull me under spill blood and it joins them break bones, well, i wonder with the resolve of autumn leaves, vision is water still waiting for spring let it wander or sunder the season that's snared it career like a vagrant cursing the shade of a dusk-flooded basement.

ii. and somehow he's never left that place where what a name means is less important than the fact that it's meaning. and how's knowing nothing better than not knowing at all when ultimately neither's going too far?

iii. i've threaded the letters you've sent me
with hairs i stole as you slept
they hang like a lantern
of lifetimes supplanted
by phantoms
dear phantoms
relent